Author: Charles Geddes

Grief Rooted in the Depth of Love

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I want to share a personal reflection that has given me countless “moments” of recalling Transcendental Love.

The ongoing reality of our earth journey encompasses overwhelming grief and loss.

My 50+ years as a Minister in New Thought and founding in the late 80’s into the mid 90’s a non-profit HIV Support Group called “Together to Grow” (TTG) I have encompassed immense grief, personally and collectively.

I’m placing this sharing under “Transcendental Love” because at the root of our deepest grief is the reality of that love.

Deep grief never leaves us; however, it can be the way we move on to meaningful purpose to honor that love.

A TIMELESS MOMENT

I’ve had the JOY of being a founder of a spiritual retreat – now called the Big Sky Retreat in Montana, formerly Grand Teton Retreat – now in its 48th year.

During the late 80’s to mid-90’s of the AIDS epidemic, I was able to bring beloved friends from my TTG group to Wyoming and the Grand Tetons. It was miraculous that this was able to happen. We had rented a van, and we were driving through Yellowstone, laughing, and feeling the depth of our love being together. We were absorbing the wonder of the buffalo and the beauty around us. Suddenly, my soul brother and co-founder of TTG, David, began to weep uncontrollably. We were all silenced as he was in the front seat and those of us in the back put our hands upon his shoulders.

“David, what’s wrong, what’s going on?” as we sought to calm him. After he gained control he said simply, “We’re together and this is so beautiful, I’m so grateful.” I’ll never forget that moment. I said farewell to cherished friends through those years, including David. TTG dissolved after the depth of losses we experienced, and there was no way to continue.

My grief throughout that time was in seeing so many younger than myself leaving this plane and that I was still here! What I have come to know is that their love and that “Transcendental Moment” has been integral to what has carried me on throughout my life.

From Kahili Gibran on Joy and Sorrow

“Then a woman said, Speak to us of joy and sorrow.

And he answered:
“Your joy is your sorrow unmasked,
And the self-same joy from which your laughter rises, was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper the sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

Our grief and loss do contain joy and sorrow – and the remembrance of love is what moves us on. Find good purpose in our own moving on!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Stand For Enlightenment

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Accountability and Forgiveness

“True forgiveness deals with the past, all the past, to make the future possible. We cannot go on nursing grudges even vicariously for those who cannot speak for themselves any longer. We have to accept that we do what we do for generations past, present and yet to come. That is what makes a community a community or a people a people – for better or for worse.”
– Desmond Mpilo Tutu.

I Am Accountable to Future Generations

I am accountable for what I pass on and how deeply I have come to insight into my own life in forgiving and seeking healing wherever I could. I know my ancestors are cheering me on to see things differently and to own my accountability to the present moment and to future generations.

I have sought to make amends where I recognized the pain that I caused in judgments I see very differently at this time of my life. I also realize my excessive drinking was the root of the darkest moments of my life, as I sought to escape the judgement and condemnation, I held against myself.

Make the Soulful Inquiries

We are living in an illumined time that is requiring we see ourselves profoundly differently. No one has privilege or entitlement above another. There are no others – just us – finding our way to evolve humanity – or not.

We are also in a time that seeing things with accountability individually and collectively means we are open to truthful history and realizing what equity means for all – opportunity without exception. What we do with that equity is everyone’s personal soul journey.

The soulful inquiries I make are not about being the judge and executioner of my own life – rather – the compassionate observer bringing recognition of seeing things in new awareness – forgiving and living from a higher perspective of myself and others.

One simply ongoing inquiry – “What’s mine to be and bring to this day that impacts all with a sense of personal value and respect – above all myself.”

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Silent Agreements

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Silent Agreements are what we have lived by, condoned, and often rewarded in our societies and cultures throughout history. They are the silent agreements we make regarding how we define our roles and identity sexually, of how religion defines us, our culture, our race and how we have come to live by those agreements without challenging those that deny our true soul-expression and being.

Silent Agreements are those that maintain silence about abuse, and atrocities. Those agreements create genocides, and they continue the personal abuse on all levels of our societies in families and cultures everywhere. No matter what the authority, be it parental, societal, ethnic, religious, through institutions, governments, or cultures … silent agreements keep us bound to the pain, to the wars, and the violence we continue to condone on our planet. When we hold to that deafening silence future generations pay the price.

Humanity is the most brutal species in acts of abuse, violence, and perpetuating terror of its own kind. The Patriarchal history we hold has perpetuated that reality as it has continually supported Silence and celebrated its crimes against minorities, sexual orientations, and women.

Our Greatest Struggle

In an evolving world with greater potential for enlightenment more than ever before, we still see that violence throughout the globe. Our planet is in its greatest struggle. It is our identity and whether we hold to the old beliefs through our various patriarchal religions, governments, and institutions, that pre-define everyone’s role as opposed to celebrating our diversity out of the Unity we share as humanity. One by one, we can plant the seeds for change and illumination. The impact of that silence is clear. It shatters lives and it creates generational abuse. Silence shattered my family as it has millions of other families and lives.

The Root of All Suffering

What is at the root of all our human suffering …. fear, denial, and ignorance and the only cures: love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about forgetting. We don’t evolve humanity through erasing memories … but we do through enlightenment, compassion, and the truth and rising to stories of empowerment as Victors of this journey and not victims.

Silent Agreements are rooted in keeping us as victims and it has been the world practice to condone and accept “Silent Agreements.” Our suffering is always rooted in fear and ignorance. When we have the courage to speak out – to intervene when we see abuse – we create bridges for others to cross and end the cycles that continue from generation to generation.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Shame and Guilt

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Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt go together. I learned shame early on with an unconscious mantra – “Shame on you.” Shame can be something we carry through our lives and never address. Early on we learn guilt and shame in religious paths that are meant to be about enlightenment.

PRE-DEFINED ROLES

We are born into pre-defined roles. Shame and guilt can emerge for not living those roles as society prescribes them. As I grew through adolescence my sense of shame and guilt became the root of overwhelming sorrow and pain as the complexity of my sexuality continued to deepen.

I entered ministry because I felt if I did enough good for others I could make up for the shame and guilt I had for being born in the wrong body and the complexity of emotions around that.

Shame and guilt can also be the root of how easily we fall prey to emotional manipulation that brings up all those feelings of inadequacy of doing something wrong when we have not!

I inherited guilt and shame, and I am the only one who can free what has not been mine to carry. Guilt has a place to make amends where it is a soul healing factor for self and others. Individual and collective shame is when we do not take accountability for what we are passing on to future generations when we could awaken and be aware. I choose not to pass on shame but accountability through how I live my life now.

VICTORY IS

My personal victory is when I no longer feel shame for the soul I am meant to be and can look in the mirror and genuinely feel love for who I see.

Clearing that learned shame opens my heart and mind to live a life of integrity, authenticity, and self-regard for myself and others. Shame not addressed, creates only darkness and behaviors that keep us in judgment of ourselves and others and at war with life itself.

I will be addressing more on these posts on shame and guilt. There is a great healing catharsis in my sharing.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is ongoing and has to do with the charge we hold on to past events and how they continue to impact us. There has been generational abuse in my family. I have been gay bashed twice. I came to realize those attacks were rooted in the condemnation and darkness I felt regarding my sexual identity, which requires a separate blog. I have also experienced feeling betrayed and the depth of pain, sadness and anger that emerged from that.

What Forgiveness is Not

Forgiveness is not about finding our way to accept or condone abuse and the inhumanity we behold every day. However, it is about finding empowerment through this life journey and transmuting our pain into action that liberates us and plants the seeds for healing on multiple levels. The work I do on myself can add to the healing worldwide and bring about shifts in how we see one another for a more compassionate world for all.

It is integral to my soul that I have done my best for personal forgiveness on my part wherever I have created wounds and pain upon another. I quote from the 8th and 9th steps of AA.

  • Step 8: Made a list of all the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them.
  • Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when doing so would injure them or others.

The Most Essential Step in Forgiveness

The most essential step in forgiving is self-forgiveness. Until I realized the depth of my own self condemnation, I continued cycles of darkness that perpetuated my pain and blocked my self-regard and value. We are all born in pure innocence and worthy of love without exception. Our capacity to realize we all have value – without exception – begins with ourselves.

I look forward to the ongoing content to what I offer on Forgiveness. If I am still breathing in this realm, I have forgiveness work to do.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Accountability

Hands Holding Plant

Accountability is a key word within my soul. We have the opportunity in our world today to be observant of Truth and lies that has not existed previously. We are accountable for what we pass on to future generations.

As a species we are capable of incredible beauty and depth in what we bring to one another and what we create and there is also the horror and unimaginable cruelty and pain we bring that is the result of our ongoing ignorance and the destruction we invoke.

IT’S HOW I SEE THE WORLD

We also live in a world that pre-defines roles, has caste systems, and believes that one faith, one path, one race has superiority. I realize being white, that I was born into privilege and entitlement that I took for granted. We learned history from a white supremacy perspective that was rooted in control and limiting what black/brown and all minorities could accomplish. Equity – though spoken of – was not for all. My accountability in this present time is to value how I live and seek to bring love and compassion to all – without exception. It’s how I see the world now that plants the seed for the future.

My soul work in this hour is the non-profit forum – Mind Your Own Becoming – From our MYOB website:

“The greatest changes historically have been when as a society we can no longer process the pain and inequities we see. When we are open to confront, no matter how uncomfortable, our own inherent racism and entitlements based on a sense of “superiority,” gender, or ethnic prejudices, and be accountable for the thoughts we carry – healing and new understanding can emerge. We can authentically begin to bring about a world vision of love and regard for everyone, without exception. And this is a multi-generational call to action.”

Accountability is being cognizant of seeking Truth historically and passing on to future generations a world where there is equity to be our authentic selves contributing to enrichment and empowerment for all.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

The Path to Transcendental Love in Our World.

Hands Holding a Heart

Transcendental “moments” are when we sense that there are no others – just all of us in this journey together and our connection to one another. Our lives are meant to be a sacred realization of Oneness and Unity.
Eckhart Tolle so beautifully states: “Without recognition of the formless within yourself, there can be no true transcendental love. If you cannot recognize the formless in yourself, you cannot recognize yourself in the other.”

OUR STORIES

So, then the inquiry – How can we have such beliefs of “others” of divisiveness and the depth of hatred and rage we see in our world? I believe because we continue to generationally pass on the same stories that perpetuate our wounds and unforgiveness. Yes, stories are important – for empowerment and how we claim new insight to pass on to future generations for healing, individually and collectively.

AWAKENING

Three keys to awakening to that formless essence of transcendental love:

  • Realizing the formless essence is my Origin and it opens the door to compassion for self and others.
  • Choosing to do the deeper soul work that clears the beliefs that have bound me to pain and unforgiveness of self and others.
  • Coming to a place where self-love and self-regard do matter as to how I see others.

There are innumerable paths, tools, and ways to do the deeper work for our body, mind, and spirit. No one path has all the solutions – but at the heart of any faith, or practice – does it encourage me to see that “formless essence” through which I realize there are no others – just all of us in practice of awakening to compassion for all – without exception.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.