Forgiveness of Self – The Heart of It All

The third Principle of Mind Your Own Becoming: Remember – forgiveness is an ongoing journey of freedom for you. See MYOB Principle #3.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning abuse, prejudice and the beyond defining brutality in human history, however, in my own journey only the willingness to let go of the immensity of an emotional charge, the event or trauma of whatever occurred can move me forward and upward.

I referenced earlier that I created painful experiences due to the darkness of self-judgment and condemnation. My alcohol addiction only increased that self-loathing. I have had my life threatened more than once. One evening, soon after returning to California, I was the victim of an attack on a dark, stormy night and beaten by four men. I knew intuitively I should not have been out that night. My first thought, realizing they had left me in the street, was pulling myself up before a car could run over me. I thought – this is too embarrassing; I won’t leave this way. I pulled myself up and stumbled into the bar I had left. I had a broken nose, teeth missing and a face that was black and blue. My prayer has always been for those men, that they found pathways to love and were able to create beautiful lives.

A Very Current Insight

The day after that incident when I arrived home after being in the ER overnight, I looked in the mirror and was shocked. I sat down in soulful reflection and began to write. I was receiving a message from my guardian angels and though I have lost the original letter – the heart of the message was:

“Look in the mirror – take it in. See what you are not facing and remember to see yourself as we see you – with unconditional love from your origin. You are not alone – we are always with you, and we lifted you up from that street. We are always there for you.”

I have engaged in therapy for myself here in Montana through a therapeutic process called EMDR.

I came to Montana for the deepest personal healing of my life and self-forgiveness. A profound revelation has occurred from a recent session. Being a spiritual counsellor, I have always put forth to those experiencing violence, rape, and ongoing abuse – it’s not your fault! The potency of the guilt and shame we carry blocks our authentic healings and rising to new freedom.

I finally realized that for me the violent moments in my life were not my fault. I was able to say and feel it – “It wasn’t my fault.” I was a momentary victim of darkness, but I did not have to carry the unrelenting blame of myself for what happened. My immediate response of forgiving those who attacked or threatened me in the past was overdue for me. I deserve that same compassion. I’ve carried that unwarranted guilt and shaming for decades, and it was never mine to carry.

Look at your life journey and realize the importance of self-forgiveness and deep regard for your Being. How we rise to live more aware and value our heart-print upon ourselves and others is our “soul” purpose.

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Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

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