It’s Self-Love and Worth that Points the Way to Enduring Love.

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Give Thanks

I am placing this blog under Transcendental Love because – Living in Gratitude for the distance we have travelled reveals – Love alone is the sole path we are to be upon.

Our quest for Love may not lead us to the reality of love if we have not found self-love and worth within ourselves. Our decisions to find love can be rooted in the fear of being alone and the untrue stories we hold unto. Our intimate relationships reflect where we are in our understanding of this quest. It is only when we realize it is the overflow of our own self-regard and value that love genuinely points the way to enduring relationships.

My sole purpose has not been in the roles I have played, as son, brother, uncle, worker in multi-jobs, and my key life calling, ministry, but the love I have brought through those roles. My identity is not in any one of those experiences, but the realization, my purpose is loving. In that awareness there is also the pain of releasing, forgiving, opening to new understanding and perspectives of my being,

I have shared, I went into ministry as a calling for all the wrong reasons. – seeking approval and validation for doing good. The root of that was the intense self-hatred and loathing I held inside of me because of the complexity of my sexuality and believing the world considered me something abhorrent.

I have triumphed over that view and am profoundly grateful I have lived through the dark nights of my soul to awaken to the light and blessing I am. I have also realized it is as the dark and light are intertwining that brings the authenticity I bring to life. My acceptance of it all is key to personal illumination that I am not my roles, I am what I have brought to them. This is not easy to remember.

Living from that core of love requires I do deeper inner work and free the unforgiveness and pain that I’ve stored within my body* I want to assure that when I share stories they are not about repetition of darkness and pain or carrying forward the experience of being a victim but rising to the empowerment of being the Victor.

I have created angels around me through this life journey. I no longer need to prove my worth. My purpose on the planet is to evidence self-love and love for others – and that is what I want to carry forward into eternity. That’s my soul role and my purpose of Being.

Quote from Angel Howard’s new book available on Amazon – “Issues in Your Tissues.” 

“No one can be stagnant for long; your body replicates new cells every day. Within seven years, all the cells in your body are completely replaced, making you an entirely “new person.”  Your blood moves constantly. Your heart beats on. Your lungs breathe. In and out. In and out. All of it without you even making an effort. So, you can’t be stagnant even if you try – your body moves and so do your thoughts. The best you can do is be intentional about it. No one is ever too young or old to act with intention, to change their lives, to begin feeling the way they want to feel!”

Do the work – emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually – evidence the immensity of the power of your identity as being LOVE!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

A Prayer for Awakening!

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One World, One Heart

I share this as the Blog for this week and the prayer below is in the first person. I created this prose for a group we held in Ft. Lauderdale for a period of multi-faiths coming together.

The evolution of our Nation and our World is about the Remembrance – We are One.

We all have a right to belong to this One World Family, but the roots of ongoing warring, rewriting history to erase the horrors we have perpetuated as humanity because of race, color, faiths, our sexuality and roles we are told to play, have to be seen and acknowledged for healing to take place. It is heartbreaking to realize the human species is the only one that carries such revenge, unforgiveness, and hatred as our way of life.

I am choosing to clear the warring within me, to be accountable for misperceptions or behavior in my own life that may have wounded another. The compassionate listening bridges we must build together are essential to the healings needing to take place between all. I choose to encourage Awakening – not Warring and stand for the beauty of authenticity within all of us as the Spiritual Beings we are here to be in this human form.

A Prayer

Beloved Presence ….
Eternal Spirit, Creator of all,
I hold a sacred call …
The Call to Love.
May I Awaken!
I am a part of One World Family.
Let my Light shine through me today,
revealing the path and the way,
that I might listen to others,
building bridges, not walls.
Let my words be healing balm,
with compassion, and care for everyone.
One World Family,
The same stardust brought us into being.
May I embrace the divinity we all share,
and know the power of forgiveness for me,
and for all humanity.
Let the inner work I do create a sense of Peace,
Whereby I make heart prints upon all I touch.
Let me rise to tell a simple story …
I am here for one great cause ….
The call to Love – One World Family.
May I Awaken!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Better or Bitter?

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I Rise - Charles Geddes

Be aware of your 2 choices in life – better with gratitude or bitter with complaints.

This Principle is the ultimate key to all the others. Better shines through Gratitude and bitter shows through resentments and unforgiveness. Bitter is a poison to my body. Key remembrance – Be in Gratitude – Pre-Pray your way every day. My ancestors are in Truth heralding me on for my soul evolution. The inquiry: What stories am I carrying forward for world healing?

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
– Nelson Mandela

I have changed the word “bitter shows through “complaints” as the principle originally stated, to resentments and unforgiveness. Those two factors do keep us bound to past pain that blocks our personal freedom and well-being.

No matter what we face at any age – it’s how we choose to rise from our experiences that define our character and what we carry forward!

I believe with every decade of our lives – we live lifetimes. When I view my life from decades – from birth to 10 – 10 to 20 – 20 to 30, and ongoing, my life had quantum changes – dark nights and extraordinary joy, grief and profound love, disappointments and loss and coming to value my growth as the observer and not the judge!

I have done deep work through my years of study and ministry. I honor that have touched lives. I have also carried deep grief, anger and pain that remained in my tissues – literally! (See Angel Howard’s book – Issues in the Tissues – available now.)

The decision to do deeper personal therapy in my 80’s has brought that to the forefront of my awareness.

Though every session of my current therapy is not an intense one, I have experienced profound breakthroughs in releasing resentments, judgments and unforgiveness within myself that I did not know were as deep as they were.

I see Charles in his 80’s more compassionately and I am observing the judgments I made that I see with new clarity and healing insight – about myself and others.

I send forth my prayers for forgiveness to all that I have hurt or injured not only in this lifetime, but through all my soul’s journey. Where I can make amends in this lifetime, I do. Most importantly of all I can genuinely see I made decisions based on what I believed at the time. My beliefs have evolved and changed! Love and forgiveness of myself has been the liberating factor,

I do know depression and a sense of hopelessness – (my suicide attempt in my 20’s) and being in a psyche ward. I do know grief and sadness and an overwhelming sense of loss. (My AIDS support work with the group Together to Grow in the late 80’s – mid 90’s). I do know great disappointments throughout my life, and I also honor how I have risen – no matter what it may have required. My angel guides conveying to me – “Charles, breathe through this time, we have your back and are preparing the way forward for you – we are always with you!”

My capacity to love Charles now is authentic, for I no longer have the need to prove myself. I simply want to share what is in my heart to be and give. My capacity of forgiveness – deeper than ever because I want to cross over into my eternity with a sense of no judgment against anyone or anything in my past.

Two choices – yes, it’s that simple – better or bitter. I choose to look in the mirror and be able to exclaim – Charles, you are getting better!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Non-Attachment with Passionate Pursuit!

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Silhouette of man on mountaintop

Principle 4. Never give up – but be willing to step back and align to your true passion.

Life is about the willingness to step back – let go – reassess and realign to what is yours to “Be.” It is riding the waves of grief and loss as well as joy. They are all my teachers. My passion is derived from joy and sorrow and being the Victor of this adventure of life.

Essential to this Principle: I must practice non-attachment to outcomes and remain in passionate pursuit of what is in my heart to give and be!

That Principle can be a great challenge – and I am adding that additional sentence on the website!

I am not aware of what tomorrow may bring; however, I can be conscious of what I choose to bring to it.

A quote from Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning.

The last of one’s freedoms.

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

Out of the horrors of his time in the German concentration camps, he created a therapy called: Logotherapy – the heart of which was about:

“His most famous memoir begins by outlining a personal experience through the gruesome Auschwitz concentration camps. The three years he spent in concentration camps became more than a story of survival. Frankl embodies the modern-day definition of resilience.

He muses about the quest for meaning, the transcendental power of love, finding humor, and discovering courage in the face of difficulty. In the worst circumstances imaginable, Frankl held to the belief that the most critical freedom is an individual’s ability to choose one’s attitude.”

My stepping back at times has been crucial to draw forth the innate strength within me, a day at a time. In that quest, I do find new passion and purpose and I can choose the attitude that lifts me up and through to ever higher ground.

In 80+ years there is a profound gift of honoring and celebrating the distance travelled. Like all, I have faced dark nights, pain on all levels, grief that still comes in waves, and rising through this world with the beliefs in duality and others that have been crippling at times to my well-being.

In letting go of controlling outcomes – let me be in passionate regard for what I am being in the moment and let that move me on to all that is before me.

I cherish what my years and friendships have given to me. My passionate pursuit – the authenticity of Charles – rising to ever deeper purpose and value of self and others, never giving up and always willing to step back!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Self-Forgiveness – FIRST!

Forgive Yourself Image

Week three of continuing to revisit the 5 Key Principles.

Two key factors regarding forgiveness – the forgiveness of ourselves and of others.

My freedom is remembering that no person, no event, no place, or thing can block the light that I am. My healing is to live from that premise.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”  – Mark Twain

Please Note:  I am changing the above on our website to reflect the first and most important reality of forgiveness – the forgiveness of self!

Four years ago, those Principles were out of an inquiry within my soul – What were the most important practices I have learned for my own healing and well-being? They are not new – but Universal – and are a way of life for me.

In these most recent years, I have realized the deep unforgiveness I carried within myself and created judgments that I unconsciously placed upon others. Through my recent personal therapy, I have been able to see the pain I carried within my body issues. See the website and book by Angel Howard – who was a keynote at our closing Big Sky Retreat this year.  She is amazing, and I look forward to having her on Mind Your Own Becoming Zoom Programming.

I want to be the observer of this life journey – not the judge and executioner of myself or others. I want to honor the distance I have travelled and see my life in new light, care, and regard. I choose to observe and be accountable for areas I need to own regarding my past and others.

I will add to that, I have taken account of the cruel and self-condemning thoughts I have held against myself through the years that created dark nights and harmful and addictive behavior!

I believe in my 80’s I gained more insight than all my 55 years of ministry combined.

Forgiving is not condoning a generational history of abuse, and the ongoing violence within humanity we see, however, I know the self-condemning  within me and the unforgiveness within my own soul contributes to the world consciousness daily. I choose to love this man Charles as profoundly as I have sought to convey love to others. I choose to convey personal amends wherever I can where hurt has been from my false judgments or behavior.

I want to stand on the Healing Bridge – for myself and all – and live from an inner Peace within my soul that I carry forward daily, without exception for all.

If I am still breathing in this realm my forgiveness is ongoing, I am grateful that I have come to realize doing the healing and forgiving within myself is the most vital of all.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Lighten Up!

meditation

Week two of continuing to revisit the 5 Key Principles. Look back on week 1, entitled Practice, Practice, Practice.

2 – Be Aware of What Is Yours to Carry and What Is Yours to Set Free.

What baggage we carry that has never belonged to us, and we keep adding to it with more stories that keep us entrapped in emotional quicksand of lies and untruths about ourselves and others.

I honor that I took on great responsibilities in my youth and felt it was absolutely mine to do. There is no regret in all those years – yet there is great awareness that I carried that sense of obligation for decades longer than I needed to. My sense of identity and value was solely in being there for my family and others.

In my 60’s I did step away from that profound sense of obligation, however, I still carried in my ministry and work that I had to be there for everyone – and always available. I was still adding to my luggage – that only I could lighten by stepping back and awakening to – I can travel more lightly.

From events that took place in my work and wonderful new friendships and love in Ft Lauderdale, there came a time when I realized, I wanted to explore a whole new freedom and no longer “carry” being there 24/7 for everyone.

It was time to set Charles – Free. I let go of my church leadership and through the imprint of COVID and Black Lives Matter – I created Mind Your Own Becoming – a non-profit forum for open and meaningful discussion of our times that we come to authentically listen.

Check our Opening Home Page on What we are About and our Mission, Vision statements.

I also decided to move to Montana having been born in Colorado and being one of the founders of the Big Sky Retreat from its beginnings in 1976. The mountains were calling me for a sense of being home where I could claim new growth – and “Lighten Up.”

I let go of all except for sending packages to Clancy, Montana, where I was to discover a new sanctuary space, and packing my new Jeep Cherokee with all I could. A beloved friend Rev Kent Barnard traveled with me part way to Texas.  From that point on I was by myself and arrived in Montana, May 1st, 2020.

Through this decision for the first time in my life I do not feel driven in time and schedule. I am here for what Kahlil Gibran defines as “Work is Love made visible.”  I am refired, renewed, redefined, and awakening to my full value – without the need to prove it to others.

I am conscious to look at my baggage ongoing and the self-judgment I carried throughout my life, generationally and personally. I seek to live from valuing how far I have travelled and the rest before me is meant to be the best because I have “Lightened Up!”

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Practice photo

A review of the 5 Key Principles of Mind Your Own Becoming – The path to our Freedom to Be!

Taking in the Key Principles of MYOB is about putting them into practice as a way of life.

However, we choose to see them – as Spiritual Principles or Ethical Principles to live by – these are not new. They are at the heart of great faiths and are the core of what the Mystics have taught.

Please review what I have shared on the website regarding these Principles. I am updating my soulful reflections of them as I turn 83 and honor I am continuing to deepen and expand my awareness of Charles. I will be revisiting the 5 Key Principles over the next 5 weeks.

1 – Free Others to Be Where They Are – Not Where You Want Them to Be.

I have come to realize that we all move through what we are here to grow though. I cannot evolve for anyone but myself. My soul / sole priority – is to work on what I personally need to continue to see life in new perspectives that nurture my own authenticity and self-value.

I can and do plant seeds of my insight and let them be.

I celebrate that when I have had personal breakthroughs and share them with clarity that it can and does encourage others to go deeper in their own awareness.

When I recently shared the story of being the victim of an attack on a dark, rainy night by four men years ago and that I forgave my attackers immediately, that I carried for decades that it was my fault being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just recently through my personal therapy I was able to utter for the first time in my life – “It wasn’t my fault” and believe it.”

Sharing that story at the Big Sky Retreat – an attendee came up to me with tears in her eyes – saying – you freed me to say the same about what had occurred to her. She realized it was time she freed that pain of self-condemnation against herself.

When our stories of insight touch another life,  that is the result of Minding my own Becoming to empower others.

The simplicity of that Principle – when you do the deeper soul work on yourself, you are more mindful that you can’t control or grow for anyone else – but you!

The great liberty is when I realize – the deeper I go into my own self-liberation and authenticity, the greater compassion I have for everyone – without exception. I can pray for world-wide awakening – as I choose to awaken daily to personal task – of Minding my own Becoming!

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

A Farewell Celebration of JOY

Big Sky Retreat 2024

The Big Sky Retreat – Aug 31 to Sept 4, 2024

I wrote the prose below to Honor this amazing accomplishment of having achieved the record number of years of an ongoing metaphysical retreat! I had the privilege of being with it from its beginnings. For me – it was my spiritual anchor – reminding me of my personal freedom to discover my own authenticity and encourage all to do the same.

“A Journey to Love” was our Theme.

It is Remembrance that is the key,
Angels go before us to prepare the way.
That we open to our destiny.
The Power of Love to see.
It’s the quest to sing our song,
That we all belong.
We are born into forgetting,
And believe life is about getting,
When Life is about Being
That we are here to shed our Light.
And open to inner sight,
There are no others – just all.
Seeking Remembrance of the “Call”
It’s a journey to Love that we may rise.
And come to realize.
That sacred quest we all share,
That we all matter and are here to care,
That as Mother Nature proclaims – Be!
Sing your song that all may be free!
Remembering – That journey to Love is our Destiny.

Our keynote speakers – Dr. James Mellon – our Music Artistry by Robin Hackett, workshops by Angel Howard and Paul Hasselbeck, power talks by Rev. Liz Luoma, Rev. Jen Dickey and Rev. Dr. Liza Marques were all WOWS!

There were 25 new attendees, 50 returnees – all know it was our last retreat and all arriving in such JOY to celebrate our history – the moment – and honoring 48 years of touching lives was a phenomenal achievement.

Rev. Dr. James Mellon made a wonderful observance that tough our theme “A Journey to Love,” he put forth to consider it “A Journey as Love.” This retreat has been an ongoing journey of 48 years to ever deepening love, because its origin was rooted as LOVE to begin with.

May we all be mindful, more than ever, we are here to evolve and build bridges, not walls that we learn from one another for the salvation of all humanity. Check out the pictures on the Big Sky Retreat Facebook page.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Our Belief in Duality is What Blocks Us from the Realization of Oneness and the Joy that Comes from that Realization.

Bird Flying in Sunset Sky

Wisdom quotes from great teachers, ancient and current:

  • “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” Maya Angelou –
  • “Our sorrows and wounds are only healed when we touch them with compassion.” Buddha
  • The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” – Carl Jung
  • “We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of effort is the same.” – Pema Chodron
  • “The belief in duality has made us sick – and the understanding of Unity/Oneness will heal.” Ernest Holmes

We are all One in this journey together. Wholeness envelopes us – but only we can bring it into our hearts and soul as the Truth of our Being.

Thanks to a dear friend whose husband dealt with a therapy process that got to the root of the intense pain and anger he had buried; she recommended a therapeutic process called EMDR.

EMDR’s goal is to help you heal from trauma or other distressing life experiences. There are such therapists here in Helena.

As I have entered this therapy personally, I cherish that one of the great insights is that deeper healing is not about our age – it’s simply our willingness to step out of the self-inflicted pain that no longer needs to reside within us. This transcends all the fearful thoughts I may create.

I share 3 Keys to Advancing on Wholeness and the amazing Joy that unfolds.

  1. Integrating the light and dark as integral to our Being and wellness.
  2. I can’t expand without going deeper. My growth and expansion are to stretch to new awareness.
  3. Acceptance of events we cannot change, but how we can see them in a new light.

    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – AA

    And I am adding: “The openness to see things in new light.”

    “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.” – Rumi

“Radical Forgiveness is much more than the mere letting go of the past. It is the key to creating the life that we want, and the world that we want. It is the key to our own happiness and the key to world peace. It is no longer an option. It is our destiny.”
– Colin Tipping – Founder of the Institute for Radical Forgiveness

The soul work I do on me impacts generations past – present and future. Nothing brings me greater Joy than that realization.

I close this blog with a reference to a beautiful song by Daniel Nahmod. For me it’s the realization that to genuinely Mind Your Own Becoming is first realizing what you must Unbecome.

Unbecoming – Daniel Nahmod

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

Joy – Accepting the Light and Dark Creates the Authentic You!

Man walking into light tunnel

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.” ― Carl Gustav Jung

Perfection exists – it is our origin. Transcendence and healing, however, only come through the vulnerability to integrate the experiences of this earth journey – the darkness, grief, joy, and triumph. It’s the inner work we do that evolves our soul and benefits all to the reality of Love and Wholeness.

I have recently come to realize the intense shame, guilt, and depth of the feelings of unforgiveness of myself I have held onto.

I have also been able to realize the intense anger within me by reacting to a key word “disappointment.”  I had no idea the deeper pain it revealed. What I took in was that I had disappointed them – and that had nothing to do with what they meant. I recognized in that moment; it was time to do deeper soul and healing work on myself. I have been in the study and practice of – what I now choose to call sacred life force within us all.

“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.”              
– Aristotle

“An unexamined life is not worth living.”
– Socrates

“Our greatest ability is not in ever failing, but in rising every time you fall.”
– Confucius

From the scam I experienced a year ago and losing a significant amount of money, the impact of the shame, guilt, and feeling I had that I had done something horribly wrong and how stupid I felt has remained. And then the triggers in the past two months of that key word and how I heard it – not what was meant. Being disappointed by someone in something I did throwing me back to “shame on you” and childhood memories of living with a sense of shame for existing as I came into adulthood.

The anger and rage I felt was my own self-loathing – still buried and unresolved.

The revelations through these past 3 years in Montana have been profound:

  1. For the first time in my life, I have not felt driven – regarding taking care of family, friends, church, and others.
  2. With the long winters in MT – there’s nowhere to go but inside – homewise and within oneself.
  3. My remembering – I have come here to do the deeper work on Charles.

I am grateful I have my writing blogs through Mind Your Own Becoming website.

It is a time to put myself first to honor the healing I am here for.

I am here to open to unconditional love for myself and the forgiveness work required for that. I remind all the Joy that emerges when you choose to go deeper and the revelations that occur when you honor – you matter and always have.

Monthly Theme and Weekly Speakers.

Every month, we take the Key Principles of MYOB and put them into practice in our lives. Looking at the deeper call before us — What are we each to “Be” to bring about societal change through our soul evolution in ways that establish justice, love, and care for all – without exception. Please join us weekly on Thursdays at 7 p.m. EDT for our virtual program.

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